Soothe Me, My Obsession
by D3AD L0V3
Summary: "Is that a... nappy?" Silvia Malfoy is obsessed with Severus Snape, and something else, something a little more... complex. When Snape finds out about her secret desires, will he be repulsed, or will he be filled with the need to make her dreams come true? *CONTENT WARNING, extremely graphic, AB/DL. Do not read unless you know what AB/DL is!* For my bestie. LOVE YOU GIRL! 3


A/N: This is a story for a dear friend of mine. I know that it is not what I normally write, but it is something out of the norm, something that the lovely lady enjoys, so I promised her I would write it for her. It has her two favourite things. Severus Snape, and... Well, we'll get to that part later.

**CHAPTER ONE**

_A Nightmarish Dream Come True_

* * *

I've always had this secret obsession. Well, I guess I haven't _always_ had it, but I've had it for quite some time, ever since I... Actually, I can't tell you what it is because... Well, to be completely honest, it's kind of embarrassing. I don't like people knowing about it. And besides, I'm sure you'll find out soon enough. It isn't my only obsession, though. I've another obsession, which could be considered much, much worse. His name is Severus Snape.

He's just so... so _dark_ and _mysterious_. I _need_ me some Snape. Seriously. Every time I see him, I can't help but imagine what it would be like to have his thick, black hair ticking my skin, or having his deep, sullen voice vibrating against my- well, I'm letting my thoughts get ahead of me. Okay, okay, just a couple more things I _have_ to mention... Like his big hands roaming over my bare flesh, his obsidian eyes burrowing into mine, _daring_ me to be attracted to him. I take that dare, Severus Snape! You hear me? Ahem... Moving on...

I'm a Malfoy. Silvia Malfoy, to be exact. You've never met me before, but that's because my father, Lucius Malfoy, sent me to the Beauxbatons Academy of Magic. You see, he's rather protective, and sending me to an all girls' school was his way of keeping me _safe_, as he likes to say. Imprisoned is more like it. Draco Malfoy is a name I am sure you've heard many times. He, unfortunately, is my twin brother. Who I hate. Immensely. Did I mention I _hate_ him? Anyways, up until recently, I was studying at Beauxbatons. That changed early this summer, however, when I _begged_ my father to send me to Hogwarts. I told him that I wanted to help Draco with the task the Dark Lord had set out for him (which was a LIE). He bought it. And now, here I am, riding on the Hogwarts Express. On my way to Hogwarts. Where I will see Severus. I'm fucking excited, okay?

"So why did you _really_ ask father to transfer to to Hogwarts?"

Ugh. Good feelings flee when Draco Malfoy opens his ungodly mouth. I glare at him with eyes that are identical to his, twirling my pale blond hair around my finger. Of course he knows how much I hate him. I mean, I tell him enough. "I hate you, you know," I say anyways, just in case he _doesn't_ know. Better safe than sorry, right?

"I know," he replies through clenched teeth, his ugly pale face growing red with rage. "So, why the _fuck_ are you here, huh? Certainly not to help_ me_."

He knows me _so_ well. I hate him even more for that.

"Isn't it obvious, Draco? I'm here for-"

"Oh, for the love of-"

"-Severus Snape!"

"Will you _sod off_ with this 'Severus Snape' bullshit?"

"We're soul-mates, Draco. The sooner you get used to that, the better."

"You've never even met the bloke! How the hell do you figure you're 'soul-mates'?"

"I don't need to meet him to know, Draco... It's deeper than that. You'd understand if you could only see him through my eyes."

Draco shuddered visibly. "I do _not_ want to see him through _your_ eyes."

"Suit yourself. You'll never know what it's like to gaze upon the embodiment of sexual desire."

"All I want to see right now is a rubbish bin, so I know where I can vomit," he said with an exaggerated groan, settling one hand over his mouth, the other over his stomach.

Pulling my wand from my robes, I conjure the object of his desire and hurl it at his oversized head, thinking that if it swells and becomes any larger, it might just explode. That would be a happy, happy day. "I've had enough of you for one day, Draco. Seek company elsewhere." I shoot the annoying git a pointed look before pulling a potions text from my sac. I do not bother to lift my eyes from the book as Draco exits the compartment, though once he is gone, I notice he's taken the rubbish bin with him. It makes me laugh.

* * *

"First years, follow me! Oh, that'll be you, too, Miss Malfoy. Seein' as it's yer first year an' all."

I shift my gaze from the carriages, to the big, hairy oaf with a lantern. I don't know how he knows who I am, or why he wants me to go with him. I don't particularly want to. I remember Draco mentioning his first year, when he'd travelled across the lake in a boat. I'm not too keen on water. I dislike being cold and wet immensely, and if the boat were to tip... I shudder at the thought.

"Please, sir, I'd much rather ride, with the others-"

"Headmaster's orders."

"Oh, alright," I huff angrily.

"At leas' yer not like yer brother. He'd be sayin' 'my father will hear about this'." Despite the gruffness of the oaf's voice, I love his impression of Draco.

"I've no need to call on my father. I am much more dangerous," I say haughtily. I am not joking, but the oaf seems to think that I am.

"Yer not half bad, there, girl."

_If only you knew,_ I think, following after the large man. I try to remember what Draco called the hairy man, but I couldn't. I never pay much attention to Draco, anyways. I try to drown out his words as much as possible. I do remember him telling me something about the man being a half-giant, which I could actually kind of see. He really is quite huge.

When we arrive at the lake, I have to take several calming breaths. _It's only water, Silvia,_ I remind myself. It doesn't help. I cringe at the thought of the cold water rushing into my ears. I absolutely _hate_ that feeling. I cannot have baths for that reason, and even when I shower, I tend to cover my ears. I suppose that is what you would call my pet peeve. Every time water goes anywhere _near_ my ear, I squeal.

It takes me a while to step into the boat with my first year travel buddies. They're all staring at me like I don't belong, and I have to agree with them. I'm starting to believe that I would rather be in Draco's 'fine' company than in the shaky boat with a bunch of little kids. No, never mind. I'll stick with the boat, thanks.

When we finally reach land, I almost cry in relief.

"You afraid o' some water?"

"O-of course not!" I stammer. Why is my voice not as steady as it should be? I do not stammer! I am a Malfoy. Though, actually, when I think about it, Draco is a little coward, and my father practically sold the git to be on the Dark Lord's good side. Were we just a bunch of cowardly fools? _Mother is not a coward,_ I think as I walk toward the castle with the group of first years. _She simply likes to stand on the sidelines. Then again, she wasn't born a Malfoy._

When we reach the castle, the oaf, or Hagrid, as he has us call him, hands us over to a lady dressed in velvet green robes. Her graying hair is pulled back into what must be a painfully tight bun, and her head is topped with a feathered, pointed hat. She seems like such a stereotypical muggle fairy-tale witch that I wonder why her skin is not green, and why she hasn't got any warts on her nose. I want to ask her, but as she sweeps her eyes over the crowd, catching my gaze, I am silenced. She does not seem like the joking type.

It is as she begins to speak that my mind wanders. I can't believe that I am actually here, inside the same stone walls as he is. Severus Snape. Though I suppose I will have to call him 'Professor'. One day, I will be able to call him by his first name. I long for that day.

"Are you all ready?"

I tune in just in time to mumble my approval with the rest of the group. Soon, large oak doors open to reveal what can only be the Great Hall. I have read about it before, in _Hogwarts, A History_. Four enormous tables stretch from one end of the hall to the other, each crowded with students from each of the four houses. Slytherin, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Gryffindor. At the front, facing the house tables, is the staff table. It doesn't take me very long to find him. My eyes lock onto his almost instantly. He is so beautiful, sitting there all in black. He always wears black, as if he is in constant mourning. I want to tell him that his mourning is over, that I am here now, and everything will be wonderful.

I am so awed by the dark wizard at the front of the hall that I barely notice the wonders around me. It is only when I hear the first years around me gasping in delight that I tear my gaze from my soon-to-be-professor's terrible beauty and lift my head to take in the ceiling, or rather, lack there-of. There is a ceiling, though. It is just enchanted to look like the sky outside. It is so wonderfully done that I feel as if I am outdoors, under the night sky. I wonder what happens when it rains.

I am still staring at the ceiling when I hear a song, drifting over me from somewhere at the front of the hall. When I locate its source, I have to cover my mouth so that my laughter does not escape. A hat! A hat that sings! I don't remember Draco ever telling me about a singing hat. Perhaps if he had told me such things, I would have paid more attention to him.

'_I knew a man named Godric,_

_Last name, Gryffindor._

_Sitting on his hairy head_

_Was really quite a bore!_

_One day he took out his wand,_

_And pointed it at me._

_He made me how I am today,_

_I talk, I sing, I see!_

_Not with eyes, I've none of those,_

_I see inside your mind!_

_When I'm placed upon your head,_

_I'll tell you what I find._

_If you're a daring lad or lass_

_With a mighty heart,_

_I'll send you off to Gryffindor,_

_That's where you'll make your start!_

_Or maybe you're a clever one,_

_With wit beyond compare._

_Then off you go to Ravenclaw,_

_With them, a house you'll share!_

_If you're a loyal child,_

_And in truth you reign supreme,_

_I'll throw you into Hufflepuff,_

_To be part of their team!_

_Though, if you're more ambitious,_

_With a cunning sort of style,_

_I'll have you put in Slytherin,_

_To stay there for a while!_

_Now come up here and take your seat._

_Don't worry, don't be shy._

_I'll find the perfect house for you._

_Trust me, I don't lie!'_

I applaud along with the other students, whooping and cheering for the enchanted hat. When the old witch steps up and lifts the hat up by its tip, the room grows silent. She holds in her other hand a long piece of parchment. She begins to call out names, and I groan inwardly. I know that this will take a very long time, and I never was a patient girl. So, instead of paying attention, I once again settle my eyes on the sexy beast sitting at the staff table. He looks exhausted, and I know why. He is leading a double life. Being a pawn for the Dark Lord while teaching _and_ tending to Albus Dumbledore's needs.

Suddenly, his dark eyes flicker to mine, and I look down. I can feel the deep blush already spreading through my cheeks. I can't wait to be in a classroom with him. Of course, there will be other students there, but what do _they_ matter?

I chance another glance at my dark professor. He is still looking at me, eyes full of curiosity and amusement. Placing words with peoples' expressions is kind of a hobby of mine. As I look at his, I imagine all of the things he could be thinking right now. 'What is the Malfoy girl doing in a group of children? That goddess belongs by my side'... Okay, so he would never say that second part, but... A girl can dream, right?

As I look into my dream guy's eyes, I wonder if he finds me attractive. I stand a little straighter, sticking out my chest ever so slightly. Oh, yes. I am one sexy girl, alright. If Severus doesn't see it yet, he will. He most definitely will. Somewhere off in the distance, I hear my name being called. I don't want to look away from the potions master, but I do. When my eyes settle on the old witch, she looks extremely annoyed. I give her a signature Malfoy smirk before I make my way up to the stool. It is rather small for me, and I feel very foolish as I sit on it. All eyes are on me, the oddity.

Once the hat is upon my head, I cannot help but to giggle. It is oddly warm, and comforting. Even though I know it can see into my mind, it does not repulse me. I wonder if the hat can see my secret obsession. A small chuckle from directly above my head assures me that he can, and the blush I still have from earlier darkens. I hope there is some student/hat confidentiality agreement. I don't want this bewitched old thing to go around spilling my secrets.

"A Malfoy, eh? I've never had a Malfoy I actually had to touch to figure out where they belong. Slytherin. It is always _Slytherin_. But there is something different about you. Something a tad more clever, a bit more brave. I could place you anywhere, and you'd fit in just fine."

_Slytherin. Please, _please_ put me in Slytherin,_ I think. I know that if I am placed anywhere else, my family will ridicule me. I would not be considered a true Malfoy, then. Not only that, but Snape is the Head of Slytherin. I _have_ to be in Slytherin. Everything I want lies in those dungeons. Except for Draco. Ew.

"Last time someone questioned me, it was anything_ but_ Slytherin," the hat says, amusement clear in its tone. "Alright, then. Slytherin it is!" The hat's voice rings clear throughout the room as he makes his declaration, and I sigh in relief.

The second the hat is lifted from my head, I hop off of the stool and make my way to the Slytherin table, making sure to sit near Draco. As much as I hate him, I know he is my key to fitting in. Besides, I want to see the look on his face. I know he wants me in Slytherin just about as much as I want to be back at Beauxbatons. I sit down next to a girl with brown hair and fair skin. She turns to me, about to tell me off, until she sees my face, my eyes so much like Draco's, my hair only one shade lighter. Her eyes widen and she looks from me, to him, and back again.

"I know. What I terrible fate, to be born_ his_ twin," I say as if it is the most dreadful thing in the world. And it is. But for now, I'll let them believe I am joking. They are obviously friends of Draco's, so belittling him and meaning it wouldn't do well for my social life. "I'm kidding, of course. I do _so_ love my brother. Any friend of his is a friend of mine." I wink at the two boys sitting next to my frazzled brother, and I know that I have won them over by the looks on their faces. I can tell that the girl I am sitting beside likes me, too, now that she is sure that I do not threaten her relationship with Draco.

"Pansy Parkinson," she says, extending a hand. I shake it firmly, knowing full well that she is only doing so for Draco's approval. When his eyes flicker in annoyance, she quickly withdraws her hand. Everything she does is to please him. I find it hilarious. And revolting.

"Pansy," I say, acting as if I have heard her name before. "Draco only talks about you_ all the time_ at home. He's practically in love with you. I'm Silvia. I'm sure he's never told you about me, but that's just because he doesn't like to speak of me when I'm so far away. He misses me."

The look on Draco's face is furious, clearly telling me to shut up, but Pansy, delighted, doesn't notice. As the voices in the hall slowly quiet down, I follow everyone's gaze to the front of the hall. A man, who can only be Albus Dumbledore, stands at the podium, seeming to look at everyone at once over his half-moon spectacles. I don't care to listen to what he has to say. Instead, I play with the utensils set out before me, thinking about when I'll finally be able to go upstairs to my dormitory, put on one of- well, that part's a secret- and dream of Severus Snape. Hey, I _told_ you I was obsessed, did I not?

It isn't until I hear a round of loud applause that I set the cutlery down, looking around my table. "What's going on?" I ask Pansy, following her eyes to the front, where Albus is addressing Severus.

"Dumbledore just announced that Professor Snape will be our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher!"

"Is that a good thing?" I ask, confused. Wasn't that position cursed?

"Of course it is! He's only wanted that position since he started teaching here!"

"Oh." I join in clapping with the others. Even though Snape has just gotten what he's wanted for years, he does not look very pleased.

When the applause finally dies down, another new professor is introduced. They are all new to me, but I can tell that nobody here has seen him before either. His name is Horace Slughorn, and I can honestly say that the name suits him. He is ugly and pudgy. He looks like the kind of man who would love to get his grimy hands on anything of value.

"_Food! Finally_!"

"Hm?" I turn back to my peers to see that piles upon piles of food have magically appeared on our table. The two boys sitting next to Draco are already eagerly stuffing their faces.

"Crabbe! Goyle! Show some manners! You're in the presence of a _Death Eater_ now!"

"Sod off, it's jus' food. Goyle an' I are_ starving._ You wouldn't let us get nuffin' from the trolley."

I roll my eyes and prepare my own plate, making sure to try a little bit of everything. At Beauxbatons, all they feed you are salads, diet drinks and fruit. It's nice to be able to dig into a greasy chicken leg without having to conjure it yourself and hide it under your handkerchief. Even so, I am not a big eater. I find that I am full much faster than I expected, and I put my knife and fork down, picking up my goblet to take a swig of pumpkin juice before I declare that I am finished.

I realize that Draco has barely touched a thing on his plate. Even though I hate him, and trust me, I really do, he is my brother, and I worry.

"Draco, eat something," I demand, giving him the look that mother uses whenever he does something she disapproves of. "You need it."

"I'm not hungry..."

"_Draco,_" I hiss, shoving a platter of chicken towards him. "_Eat._"

"_Fine,_" he growls, picking up a single chicken leg and taking one, small bite. "I've eaten."

I sigh at his childish behaviour, though I can understand why he doesn't want to eat. He is troubled by his task, as I would be if I were in his situation. I hate understanding what my brother is going through.

The feast before me changes and desserts of all kinds are arranged before me. I love sweets. There is one sweet in particular that I can never get enough of, and as soon as I find it, I grab a handful. I suppose it isn't all that sweet, though. It actually has a rather crude taste. I tear off a piece of the black licorice and pop it into my mouth, nearly moaning in delight. It is a taste that few enjoy, but I always did have a rather odd taste in things, like men, and what I wear in my sleep. I would wear it all day, if I could...

The rest of the feast disappears just as I swallow the last piece of bitter candy, and Dumbledore is once again at the podium. His face is solemn, and I know what he intends to talk about. I think back to the one and only time I met the Dark Lord. Father had introduced Draco and I to him when he'd first returned a little over a year ago. He'd taken interest in Draco, not because he was talented, but because he went to Hogwarts, with the Potter boy. I wonder who he would have chosen had I also been sent to Hogwarts from the start.

The speech is over, and I have missed it, remembering only bits and pieces, like the mention of Tom Riddle, who I already know to be Lord Voldemort. I stand up with the rest of my table, once again following a group of first years, this time made of solely of Slytherins. Pansy leads the group, beckoning for me to come and walk beside her.

"I'm a prefect," she tells me with a grin. "The duties are bullshit, but I get to boss around these little brats, so it's worth it. Draco was a prefect too, but now that he's a Death Eater, he's got more important things to worry about." Pansy talks a lot. I wouldn't mind so much if it wasn't mostly about Draco. I may think about Severus Snape all hours of the day, but I don't talk about him. I want to silence the girl, but she is a prefect, and I don't want a detention. "Anyways, you'll be sharing a dormitory with me, Millicent Bulstrode, Daphne Greengrass and Tracey Davis. We're the shit. Hang with us, and you're golden, girl."

"Good to know," I reply as I follow her. We stop at a dead end, and I briefly wonder if she has taken us the wrong way, until she says 'serpentine', and the wall shifts to reveal another corridor. "_Wow_," I whisper as we walk down the corridor, coming out into what can only be the Slytherin common room. I love it. It is dark and cold, but it reminds me of Severus. This was his common room. He is the head of house. He could show up here at any minute and-

"Welcome, first years, and Miss Malfoy, to Slytherin."

Oh. My. Gods. He's here, right in front of me. I could reach out and touch him if I wanted to. And I _do_ want to. But I can't. There are too many people here.

"I do hope that you will all be better than the other dunderheads that reside in this castle."

What the hell is everyone following the Dark Lord for? _This_ is the man_ I_ would follow to the end of the Earth and back. My word, is he ever gorgeous.

"A word, Miss Malfoy? I need to discuss with you your schooling. It has come to my understanding that Beaxbatons is a year behind Hogwarts in their studies."

"O-of course, sir." I clutch my bag close to me as I follow him. When I'd stepped off of the train earlier, a man had asked to search my bag. All of the students had been searched. I had to use the_ Impirius_ on him for him to let me go. My bag... it has things in it. Things that I cannot let out of my sight, and cannot let others see. I carry one around with me at all times because it comforts me to know that I have it, that I can put it on and- sorry. I'm getting way off track.

Severus leads me back out of the common room and further into the dungeons, stopping outside of what must be the door to his office. With a swish of his wand, the door swings open and he enters, gesturing for me to join him, before he closes the door behind us.

Alone. With Severus Snape. Behind a closed door. My wildest dream is coming true before me, only we are both still fully dressed, and I am not wearing one of _them._

"So, Miss Malfoy-"

"Silvia."

Snape quirks a brow at my interruption. "_Miss Malfoy_," he presses on, walking around his desk to sit in a hard, high-backed chair. "I gather that you have not yet taken your OWL examinations? That would put you with the fifth years."

"I-I haven't, sir, but I had tutors over summer break. They all agree that I am quite qualified to take the exams. I've letters from them, if you'd like proof."

"Show them to me," he demands, holding out his hand. I want to place my own hand there instead of the letters, but I reach obediently inside of my bag and withdraw the folded pieces of parchment, handing them over to my professor. He unfolds them and meticulously smooths them out, running his black eyes over their contents. "It seems they were all rather impressed with you, Miss Malfoy, though I can assure you that mine is a harder grade to get than any_ tutor's_."

"I won't let you down, sir."

"Have you a record of your marks?" He asks, handing the letters back over to me. I nod and slide the letters back into my bag before searching for my mark sheet. I know that it is in there, somewhere. I made sure to bring it with me. I smile when I finally find it, but it is caught on something. I furrow my brows in annoyance before giving the parchment a swift tug. Something else comes out with it, and I am absolutely horrified by what it is. It's one of them, the ones I so love to wear. But for Severus to see it so _soon_... I want to disappear. Please, let this be a nightmare, and not my real life._ Please_!

"Is that... a_ diaper_?"


End file.
